Eye vs. Acid

Today Byron was working at the Youth Center in town doing some plumbing. Somehow, some of the acid splashed out and up and into Byron's left eye. One of the men working with him rushed him home (after spending several minutes flushing his eye with a garden hose) and after consulting with poison control and our family doctor, we headed to the ER. I think I may write a pamphlet or a short book on the hours that followed. My overachiever husband simply cannot stand to fail at anything - this passion even extends to passing the eye chart test. Ok, keep in mind that his one eye is pretty much completely out of commission. So, he was told to read the smallest line he could. Of course, with one eye totally out of commission, he wasn't going to do that well. Oh, but of course he HAD to do well so..... he waited until the nurse looked away and then he uncovered his eye and quickly read the whole line. I was like seriously about snorting. Then the nurse asks him if he smokes. No. Does he drink alcohol. No. Does he do drugs. He pauses then says, "Just don't tell my wife." WHAT?!!! Ok, seriously now... she's putting all this on your permanent, never to be erased, stuck to your name forever, files!!!!! He immediately started laughing and said, "no, I'm just kidding" but I was like ready to knock over the silly chair he was perched in. So, then the doctor comes in and truthfully I think the only thing Byron gets out of the entire consultation was that the doc told him to wet a tea bag in ice water and then use it on his eye. I think he said, "Seriously, the whole TEA BAG?" like 20 times. I was waiting for the doctor so say, "what part of t-e-a b-a-g don't you understand?" but he was kind and gracious even though Byron greeted him and his 2 interns by saying, "So, is this the real life Scrubs team?" Not exactly a compliment, eh? They chuckled charitably and I'm sure they chalked it up to all the intense pain he was suffering, which, according to him was far worse than childbirth. Not.

Even.

Close.

Sorry honey... I still win the award for the highest pain level experienced in this family. Times 4.

Anyways.... at the end of the day... he'll live and will see perfectly fine without cheating on his next eye exam. The vicoden prescription will help him through the night and by morning he'll be jolly fine.

Moral of the story.... wear contacts. They will save your cornea from being eaten by acid....... if you are exposed to acid since you aren't wearing safety goggles.


P.S. Truly I am thankful that God had His hand on Byron today but I have to admit I've had a few chuckles at Byron's expense today.