Addendum to the last post

I wanted to hasten to add that our church has been wonderful to our children and in reality our children have 15+ sets of grandparents. I just felt that Rev. Lawrensons article was worthy of being posted for all to see.

What you might not know about your pastor's kids

Rev. Rick Lawrenson has been doing a series on his blog about the parsonage family. The First was "what you might not know about your pastor", the second was, "what you might not know about your pastor's wife" and the third was "what you might not know about your pastor's kids". Fantastic stuff. Anyways.... you can just click on his name above to go see his posts or you can just continue reading. I am going to paste the latest.

What you might not know about your pastor’s kids

(This is the 3rd in a series that I hope is enlightening to the Christian community about your pastors and their families. You can find the previous posts here and here.)

I know about pastor’s kids. Growing up, I was often friends with my pastors’ kids and spent time in their homes. During my college years my own dad entered the pastorate, so while I’m not a pastor’s kid, my youngest two brothers went through adolescence in a pastor’s home. And of course my own children have for most of their lives been pastor’s children. So I am somewhat of an expert, for what it’s worth.

Pastors’ kids are kids. Like their moms, they didn’t receive a call from God to their lot in life growing up. So they have no choice in the matter. But, you might say, neither do any children. Kids don’t determine what their parents do career-wise. Yeah, but most careers don’t put their children in a fishbowl, either.

They don’t want to be looked at differently. They just want to be treated as normal kids like everyone else’s. That shouldn’t be too hard. But for some reason in many churches it is.

They aren’t perfect, so don’t expect them to be. Hey, they’re just like your kids. You’ve heard the joke. Why are preachers kids so bad? Because they play with the deacons’ kids.

Unless they are your children they’re not yours to discipline. And if you do see them truly misbehave, tell it to their parents, not to other church members or to “the board”. It’s not their business. Give them the same respect you expect. Take them out from under the microscope.

In many cases they likely carry some resentment toward the church because of a number of things. Typically…

Dad can’t attend their ballgames/dance recitals/camping trips, etc. because he has to take care of the church. Yet other church members have no problem attending their kids functions. Kids aren’t stupid. They see the inconsistencies and unfairness.

They have to attend church every time the doors are open. Sometimes because “we have to set the example”. But they don’t want to be the examples. They want to be normal. Remember, it’s not their “calling”.

They hear the criticisms of their dad. This one really stinks. No kid should hear another adult or hear of another adult blasting their parents, even if the criticism is warranted. But it happens way too often in churches. Adults can handle that stuff. Kids shouldn’t have to.

They see the stress at home that balancing ministry and family causes his parents and their relationship. Again, pastoring is a 24/7 job. See my previous posts on this subject.In most cases (I say most because I talk to lots of pastors across this country) their father is overworked and underpaid. So they don’t have the income to take the nice vacation or buy the better clothes or get the latest gadgets for Christmas. Sorry, but it’s true.

That’s enough. You get the picture.Just because dad’s a pastor doesn’t mean they want to be one. In fact, depending on how the church treats their dad will largely determine their relationship with the church as an adult.

Just because dad’s a pastor doesn’t mean they are believers. And if they aren’t, they have to put on the act. And that makes them dislike themselves because they know they’re pretending. Treat them like any other child who needs Christ – with love.

If you give them their space and privacy they’ll like you a whole lot more. And they’ll like the church, too. If they don’t feel like oddballs because dad’s a pastor, they could turn out normal.

Most pastors kids are genuinely caring children who want both to please their parents and their God. They’re not super-spiritual, but can be spiritually dynamic people if they get the same chances to just be kids like everyone else. There are some great success stories of pastor’s children who go on to accomplish wonderful things in life through whatever careers they choose. But because they are who they are, so much is made or broken by how dad’s church(es) treat them and their parents.

Having said all that I think my three children (and they’re free to respond here) have no regrets from being reared in a pastor’s home. They’re all three healthy and committed to their families and are all active in their churches. My son is a full-time worship leader working with me. My first daughter married a youth pastor and is in another state. My youngest daughter and her husband are nearby and are great volunteers in our church. I’m not bragging- just saying being a pastor’s kid doesn’t have to be negative or stressful. But I also give my church credit for allowing my family to just be a family, and for praying for us over the years.

Multiple Meanings

The kids were rough housing around, wresting, etc and Alyssa came whining to me that the boys were being too rough. Here is the conversation that followed between her and I.

Me: Alyssa, if you decide to play with the big dogs you're probably gonna get bit.
Alyssa: Mom!! I'm not playing with the dogs! I'm playing with the boys!!

Then she walked away shaking her head. LOL

I am so Blessed!!

Today I was busy working and I heard the kids hollering for me to come. They had been outside playing so I figured someone had gotten hurt or something like that. When I came into the kitchen this is what I saw:

They all said, "Happy Birthday Mom!!" Then Kenton hastened to add, "A couple days early!!" LOL My kids are so sweet and I am so very very blessed to be their mommy.

Happy Birthday, Stephen!

Today is my brother in law, Stephen's, birthday. I had originally intended to post some hilarious video clip commemorating the event but decided against it. Stephen is my favorite brother in law and I like him so much that he'll always be my favorite BIL. Of course, then you have to realize that he is my ONLY BIL. At any rate, we have a love/hate relationship. We love to hate each other. We like to pretend that we can't stand each other but its all in good fun. Anyways, Stephen is a great husband to my sister (which is all that matters anyways) and a great daddy to my nieces. He just recently finished Police academy in Pittsburgh and we are all very proud of him. So.... happy birthday Stephen!!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for my van. I have been moaning and groaning allot lately about gas prices. It costs around 80.00 to fill our van and lately we've been filling up at least once a week. We have 2 parishioners in the hospital in 2 different directions. Byron has been going every other day to visit them and its been excruciating to our gas bill. Consequently, I've been spending alot of time in prayer (and quite abit of whining too). This AM, as I was having my devotions, once again I was appealling to God for some relief in this area and He ever so gently - yet very clearly - reminded me that some people don't even have a vehicle to drive. So, in the grand scheme of things, I/we are very blessed to even have a vehicle to need gas. So, today, on "Thankful Thursday", I am thanking the Lord for our van and the ability to get from one place to another without walking.

Too Much Lemonade

Apparently my dear husband decided I have had too much lemonade to drink lately so today, on his way home from making his hospital calls, he stopped and picked up 2 of my addictions........

UMMMM..... Now I feel some better.... what more can a girl want if she has Pepsi and chocolate??? Ok, so there are a few things a bit higher up on my priority list but it was incredibly sweet of him to try to make me feel better by indulging my chocolate and Pepsi addictions.

And a note about the chocolate: I'd never had any chocolate from "Ghirardelli chocolates" before but oh goodness... let me tell you...... you aint had chocolate until you've had Ghirardelli. I have not tried any of their dark chocolate since I really don't like dark chocolate but the milk chocolate caramel was enough to make my troubles go away (for a few seconds anyways). So.... even though a candy bar from Ghirardelli may take half your paycheck, its def. worth it. Ok, well, maybe its not THAT expensive but I'll tell ya, this chocolate makes Nestle's or Hershey seem like wax.

Oh, and sorry Angie..... it has to be Pepsi for this PA girl!!! ;-)

Obama - I don't want my daughters "punished with a baby"

I need some of Jon Earls duct tape.

Sermon for today (to myself)

When life hands you lemons - make lemonade.

Thankfully I love lemonade.

Go PA!!!

Penn. judge: Learn English or go to jail
Chad Groening - OneNewsNow - 4/1/2008 4:00:00 AM

An English language advocate is praising a Pennsylvania judge for ordering three convicted criminals to learn English or go to jail.

Recently four men who could not speak English were brought before Luzerne County Judge Peter Paul Olszewski to plead guilty on charges of criminal conspiracy to commit robbery. All four men needed translators during the proceedings, and Olszewski sentenced them jail terms of 24 months. However, he gave three of them parole with the stipulation that if they learn to read and write English, earn their GEDs, and get full-time jobs, they can remain out of jail.

Jim Boulet, executive director of English First, calls this judgment a "tremendous outbreak of common sense in Pennsylvania." But while he considers the judge's ruling right on the mark, he says believes the problem is the result of the government pushing "multiculturalism" and not insisting people learn English.

"They're given a bilingual education program, maybe with some multicultural history about how the United States robbed Mexico of its patrimony," he continues. "So [immigrants] come out ... uneducated. They don't speak English and they're making a living [by] robbing people. There's the triumph of multicultural education right there."

Boulet believes it is a good development that the judge is giving the men a second chance. The attorney for one of the defendants even suggested that the ruling was good for his client.