10 Tip for surviving the holidays with your inlaws

Let me preface this entire post but saying.... I truly have never had ANY of the issues in this article with my Byron's parents. We pretty much dispensed of any kind of awkward moments after the first 2 visits to their place when we were dating. The first happened on my first visit to their house when my father-in-law decided to take my blood pressure. I believe his exact words were, "I want to be sure my son is getting a healthy girl". This was our first date mind you, so he apparently has the gift of seeing into the future. Then, on my second trip to their house my dear mother in law fixed her son's favorite meal (since he only came home once in a while). This meal happened to be chicken stir fry with water chestnuts the size of apples in it. I'm thinking there may have been more water chestnuts in the dish than chicken, but that's neither here nor there. (It was very much there though). Anyways, I hadn't known Byron long enough to have let him in on the little piece of information that I don't like vegetables. So, as you all know, stir fry is 80% vegetables and 5% non vegetables and 15%soy sauce. So, I took a small portion and managed to digest it all. Then Byron asked for seconds and before I had time to stop him, he had filled my plate a 2nd time. *sigh* That was the beginning of the well.... rest of the story.

From there on, we pretty much decided that we'd all get along and its been a joy to be their daughter in law.

That said, however, I found this article to be incredibly amusing. I was going to edit it to remove anything that might be anti-all the things we believe in or against but decided that you could just read it and do the editing yourself. This was on my Yahoo homepage this evening...

10 Tips for Surviving the Holidays with Your In-Laws
By Dina Koutas Poch Special to Yahoo! Personals Updated: Dec 23, 2007

Holiday visits to in-laws, present or prospective, can test the strongest of bonds, even if you believe you could be hitting the in-law jackpot and winning a stellar extended family.

Here are 10 "in-law tips" to make a potentially bumpy sleigh ride much smoother.

1. Memorize In-law Names: Hey, Columbo, do your homework! It's easy if your in-laws are named Branford I, II and III. If this is your first time meeting the whole clan, learn who will be present ahead of time. You'll be poised to meet Great Aunt Stella's new, much younger boyfriend and not call him "boy toy" when his name is Ken.

2. Bear a special dish: The 8" by 10" baking pan is your token of gratitude -- it shows you appreciate your in-laws' hospitality. Aren't you a peach!
Also, you've guaranteed there's something digestible on the table and avoided the family specialty of "beef cups with pizza rice." Snap!

3. Embrace Your In-laws' Lifestyle: If only your in-laws posted a "House Rules" sign on their front door. At least you'd know that their thermostat never rises above 60 degrees, everyone eats dinner at 5:30 p.m., no one removes the plastic wrap from the TV remotes, and you only flush the toilet when it's number two. Imagine you're staying at an eccentric bed and breakfast. You didn't make the rules -- but you can survive them for a few days.

4. Throw Down a Secret Password: This is a sound (bird chirp), a word (sonar) or a dance number (the Worm) that advertises to your partner that you need a break when your in-laws are testing your limits "Hon, I just ordered a transducer for my sonar machine" means "let's take a little time-out from the part-ay."

5. "Kalimera!" You speak English. Unfortunately, your in-laws don't. Learn a few key phrases to help you be as culturally smooth as Bono. So your mispronunciation of their regional dialect means you called your grandma-in-law a lizard, it's cool; you tried. Besides, teaching you the most mundane phrases in Cantonese is more entertaining than Yahtzee.

6. Hello, Small Talk!: Does your partner's family gab ceaselessly or sit in utter silence? If you have chatty in-laws and you're too quiet, they'll be suspicious. Too much yammering, and you're uncivilized. Ease into your in-laws' conversation style. Just smile and nod until you figure out if you're there to listen to a three-hour story about cats, or tell one.

7. Mr. or Ms. Dietary Restriction: Just like the airplane, make your food needs known ahead of time. Although there are no promises that your mother-in-law understands that lactose-intolerant means that you can't eat every dish au gratin. If you're left with nothing but bread rolls and wine, think of the pounds you'll drop this holiday season as others are stuffing themselves.

8. Accept In-law Gifts with Grace: No, you can't immediately list the "bald eagle wall clock" you just received from them on eBay along with the used mattress pad you've been trying to unload. Your in-laws want to see their gift when they visit! Tell them you love it so much that you brought it to your office. What are the chances they'll see your office? They don't even know what you do for a living!

9. Silence Your Inner Cruise Director: Recommending novels, restaurants or movies during an in-law visit can be a bust. Inevitably, your rental choice of "The Holiday" bores them to tears, and the local fish restaurant (the one with the rave reviews) gives everyone the Norwalk virus.Sometimes it's best to be bland, boring and not opinionated -- for once!

10. Your Partner, The Spokesperson: If you and yours want to bow out of the family field trip to the HoneyBaked Ham store, let your partner drop the news. If you are constantly the bearer of broken plans, they'll assume it's always your idea. Face it; your partner is a much better front man, even if you have cute dimples.


Just remember, however stressful it is to share the holidays with your in-laws, it's just as hard on them. You worry about your outfit; they obsessively clean the den. It's only a few hours or days you spend with your true love's family and you want to secure the "Best Guest Ever!" Award so you can return next year, to defend your title. 364 days and counting...